New Years Resolutions...can they work?
"I'm going to read more."
"I'm going to save up for a down payment."
"I'm going to do better with self-care."
New Years Resolutions. Some of them fail, and some of them succeed. What makes certain resolutions doomed for failure, while others are followed through and achieved? Honestly, it depends. I know that is a frustrating answer, but there isn't just one answer! Today will will discuss tried and true ways to set yourself up for success. These ideas go for all goals, not just New Year's Resolutions! Though there are lots of different tools to help you set and follow through with New Year's Resolutions, today we will talk about two: SMART Goals and Stages of Change.
SMART GOALS
Setting our New Years Resolutions well can be a head start to meeting those goals. SMART Goals is an acronym, and following it is a way to ensure that you and others around you will be able see your progress. Look at the following goals and think about whether they may be SMART or not:
#1. "I want to get in shape;" #2. "I want to go to the gym 3x weekly for the next three months."
Not sure? They way we tell is to ask, is it:
S - Specific. If it isn't specific we can struggle with what our goal really is.
M - Measurable. When it is measurable we can see concrete progress and make a plan.
A - Attainable. Is it something you are actually capable of doing? If not, tweak it!
R - Realistic. With all the demands on your time and energy, can it be realistically done?
T - Timely. Put a date on it. We can always set a new goal when we meet our first!
Looking at our example goals: "I want to get in shape" is not specific, measurable, or timely. We don't know if it is realistic, though it is probably attainable.
How about the next goal: I want to go to the gym 3x weekly for the next three months." It is specific, measurable, and timely. Again, since we don't know this person's lifestyle, we don't know if it is realistic or attainable, but they could tell pretty easily. This is a much better SMART Goal.
Without the aspects of SMART Goals, your resolutions are vague. It is impossible to know if you've achieved it, and it is likely harder to stay motivated. If your goal is not yet SMART, try to tweak it so that it meets those marks. SMART goals also help us to feel more capable, rather than blindly striving toward an unmeasurable goal.
STAGES OF CHANGE
**It is important to note that the stages of change model is often portrayed as a linear progression, one-by-one, through the stages, but it can instead look like a star. If a person "relapses," they can return to pre-contemplation and believe that "it's not that big of a deal," or they can move back to any of the other stages. You'll learn more in the following explanations:
(A person believes their health is fine.)
Contemplation: We have realized that there might be a problem. Often there is ambivalence, as the consequences of not changing and the consequences of changing do not motivate us for change. Maybe there are benefits for remaining the same, maybe the barriers to change are too high, but we are not yet ready to change. We contemplate it.
(The person is told be a doctor that their cholesterol and blood pressure are too high. They believe this, but lifestyle changes are "too hard with the busy schedule.")
Preparation: This stage occurs when the person decides that, yes, there is a problem, and yes, change needs to happen. They have not yet made the changes, but they are planning and preparing.
(The person decided he or she will eat better, and began looking at online recipes and nearby health food stores.)
Action: Fairly self-explanatory, the person has put the plan into action and is making the planned changes. This is an exciting stage! Big things are happening, and the person often finds satisfaction in achieving what they set out to do.
(The person starts taking a healthy cooking class and removes fried and fatty foods from the home.)
Maintenance: In my opinion, this is one of the hardest stages of change. The person has made changes, and has been able to see the fruits of their labor. Maintaining these benefits requires continued motivation to be committed to the new habits/patterns. However, motivation can wane during this stage.
(The person has decided to continue eating well and has stocked the refrigerator with fresh foods. The person is also putting off other tasks in favor of cooking and eating well.)
Relapse: Relapse in behavior, or in substance use. Typically there are "pre-lapse" signs; warnings that a relapse is imminent. This relapse is a return to a previous pattern or behavior. A relapse does not mean that all is lost, however. Shame or guilt often accompany a relapse, and working through these emotions can determine the person's response to a relapse. Relapses are a common (but not necessary) part of making change. If we can learn from our relapses, we can learn to prevent them in the future.
(The person worked late to meet a stressful deadline. The person was hungry, angry, lonely, and tired. The person went to KFC and ate a family meal of fried chicken.)
Now that we know bout the stages of change, and SMART goals, how can this help us with our New Year's Resolutions?
One of the things we take away from the stages of change model is that self-reflection and re-evaluation are essential. If a relapse occurs, look at contributing factors. Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired (HALT) states reflect times of vulnerability for our making poor choices. Avoiding these states or having back-up strategies can help. If we find the original goal is too much, we can also always adjust our goals!
We can plan-in moments of struggle too. Perhaps our goal could be "I want to go to the gym 3x weekly for the next three months, except for one week a month where I can go 2x weekly." This may be more realistic. Be compassionate with yourself!
If we notice our personal warning signs for relapse, or our "pre-lapse"signs, we know that we need to find a way to increase our motivation or to find support. Going it alone and relying on willpower does not work for most people. It can be helpful to discuss our personal warning signs with a friend or a therapist; someone who knows you well enough to keep you accountable and point out your blind spots.
If you're afraid you may slip back into pre-contemplation or contemplation, it can be helpful to write a letter to your future self to read when you are uncertain. Keep those close friends or supportive folks up-to-date on your thoughts, as they can help give you in-the-moment feedback.
Maintaining motivation can be tricky. Making sure we have rewards along the way can help us avoid monotony, and if our timely goals have end dates we can re-assess and set new and exciting SMART Goals. Keep looking forward, while enjoying the moment!
SMART Goals and the Stages of Change can be helpful tools to keep you on track for your New Year's Resolutions. These models allow for adjustment of the plan, as rigidity and an "all-or-nothing" approach for success will often lead to disappointment. Keep yourself motivated out there and keep up the good work! Good luck with your resolutions, and don't forget to be SMART!
And, as always, if you find the content of this blog post interesting, and think it would be helpful to explore deeper with a professional, you may contact us at info@summitcountytherapy.com or view the website: SummitCountyTherapy.com
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