What about control and anxiety?
There are two kinds of things in this world. Things we can control, and things we cannot control.
Today we will talk about anxiety and how it can be related to control. In this day and age, our anxiety can come from feeling overwhelmed and unsure of where to start, or out of control. We find that our anxiety can be handled differently whether it is inside or outside our control.
First, we must identify what is in our control and what isn't. Even when things seem to be sort of in and out of our control at the same time, we can break it down into pieces that are one or the other. For example, whether or not I get home safely is a mix of in and out of my control. Let's talk about how we can break our worries into manageable pieces.
"Will I get home safely." What's in my control: my paying attention to road conditions, driving a reasonable speed, not taking mind-altering substances, responding to other drivers, etc. When I am able to determine the things in my control I can make a plan to follow. This often will reduce anxiety because I know what to do next.
"Will I get home safely." What's outside of my control: other drivers' decisions, the weather, earthquakes, etc. When I worry about the things that are outside my control, I find myself with no way to alleviate this worry or anxiety. This is a tricky one. We have choices about how to address this anxiety, and we will have a post in the future about different anxiety reduction techniques.
(Just as a teaser: sometimes we can allow ourselves to feel the worry, and the process of acknowledging it will reduce it on its own. Sometimes we can also use strategies like EMDR's container technique, mindfulness meditation, deep breathing techniques, progressive muscle relaxation, or expressing our worries to a friend.)
One of the tricky parts about addressing control and anxiety is simply identifying the things we can and can't control. If you're reading this, I challenge you to do this quick exercise. All you need is a pen and paper, and maybe a little privacy.
Step One: Write down all the things you have been worrying about. All the things that have been plaguing your mind. Maybe your list has one thing on it, maybe it has one hundred. Either way it's okay.
Step Two: Look at your list. Really look at it. On a 0-10 scale (0 is no distress at all, 10 is the most distressed you have ever felt), write down the number that represents how worried you feel when you look at it.
Step Three: As you look at your list, cross out the things that are outside your control. Circle the things that are inside your control. If you aren't sure, try to break it into pieces, like we did earlier in this post. then circle and cross out those new pieces.
Step Four: When you look at the things that are circled (inside your control), think about if you are doing everything you can to deal with that item. If yes, check off that item. If not, mark it with an asterisk.
Step Five: Look at your list, and notice how many asterisks there are versus how many things are on your list. Re-rate your level of anxiety, 0-10. Has it increased? Decreased? Stayed the same? Now you can make a plan to address what is in your control.
Here is an example of what it could look like. I started with four hypothetical items, and when breaking it down and identifying what I need to focus on, it turned into two things. Now we have a list of things that we can devote time and energy to, and reduce the anxiety that can come with feeling overwhelmed.
Try out this exercise, especially if you feel overwhelmed. It can help you really see what you need to focus on, to prioritize your energy, and often we find it will reduce anxiety. Quickly determining what you can and can't control is a skill, so practice practice practice! If you participated, I'm interested to know how this exercise worked for you, so please send me a message or comment below.
And, as always, if you find the content of this blog post interesting, and think it would be helpful to explore deeper with a professional, you may contact us at info@summitcountytherapy.com or view the website: SummitCountyTherapy.com
Today we will talk about anxiety and how it can be related to control. In this day and age, our anxiety can come from feeling overwhelmed and unsure of where to start, or out of control. We find that our anxiety can be handled differently whether it is inside or outside our control.First, we must identify what is in our control and what isn't. Even when things seem to be sort of in and out of our control at the same time, we can break it down into pieces that are one or the other. For example, whether or not I get home safely is a mix of in and out of my control. Let's talk about how we can break our worries into manageable pieces.
"Will I get home safely." What's in my control: my paying attention to road conditions, driving a reasonable speed, not taking mind-altering substances, responding to other drivers, etc. When I am able to determine the things in my control I can make a plan to follow. This often will reduce anxiety because I know what to do next.
"Will I get home safely." What's outside of my control: other drivers' decisions, the weather, earthquakes, etc. When I worry about the things that are outside my control, I find myself with no way to alleviate this worry or anxiety. This is a tricky one. We have choices about how to address this anxiety, and we will have a post in the future about different anxiety reduction techniques.
(Just as a teaser: sometimes we can allow ourselves to feel the worry, and the process of acknowledging it will reduce it on its own. Sometimes we can also use strategies like EMDR's container technique, mindfulness meditation, deep breathing techniques, progressive muscle relaxation, or expressing our worries to a friend.)
One of the tricky parts about addressing control and anxiety is simply identifying the things we can and can't control. If you're reading this, I challenge you to do this quick exercise. All you need is a pen and paper, and maybe a little privacy.
Step One: Write down all the things you have been worrying about. All the things that have been plaguing your mind. Maybe your list has one thing on it, maybe it has one hundred. Either way it's okay.
Step Two: Look at your list. Really look at it. On a 0-10 scale (0 is no distress at all, 10 is the most distressed you have ever felt), write down the number that represents how worried you feel when you look at it.
Step Three: As you look at your list, cross out the things that are outside your control. Circle the things that are inside your control. If you aren't sure, try to break it into pieces, like we did earlier in this post. then circle and cross out those new pieces.
Step Four: When you look at the things that are circled (inside your control), think about if you are doing everything you can to deal with that item. If yes, check off that item. If not, mark it with an asterisk.
Step Five: Look at your list, and notice how many asterisks there are versus how many things are on your list. Re-rate your level of anxiety, 0-10. Has it increased? Decreased? Stayed the same? Now you can make a plan to address what is in your control.
Here is an example of what it could look like. I started with four hypothetical items, and when breaking it down and identifying what I need to focus on, it turned into two things. Now we have a list of things that we can devote time and energy to, and reduce the anxiety that can come with feeling overwhelmed.
Try out this exercise, especially if you feel overwhelmed. It can help you really see what you need to focus on, to prioritize your energy, and often we find it will reduce anxiety. Quickly determining what you can and can't control is a skill, so practice practice practice! If you participated, I'm interested to know how this exercise worked for you, so please send me a message or comment below.
And, as always, if you find the content of this blog post interesting, and think it would be helpful to explore deeper with a professional, you may contact us at info@summitcountytherapy.com or view the website: SummitCountyTherapy.com
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